Parents’ meetings are a critical part of your child’s education, providing you with an opportunity to find out how things are going, to ask questions and to get a snapshot of progress across all subjects.
In primary school, it is easier to see your child’s teachers at different times – even at pick-up at the end of the day – and to have an informal chat or to speak about an issue which may have arisen, but that isn’t the best time to really check on progress. A formal parents’ meeting is an important opportunity for you, as the teacher will have the data, results, and examples of work ready to show you and to discuss.
As your child moves through the different school stages, parents’ meetings change dramatically. I have worked at one school where an entire day was given over to the process, with appointments starting at 8 in the morning (although I sometimes started at 7 to accommodate working parents) and would go all day without stopping until 4pm. That was a school with 2000 pupils and all parents across the entire school met on the same day. Other schools would have more traditional evening meetings and for one specific year-group at a time.
Some schools provide formal appointments and are excellent at time-keeping, even with a bell or buzzer to show when your five minutes are up. Don’t keep talking past your allotted time – but if you need longer arrange to either go back, follow up with a phone call or meet on another day. Others do not provide appointments and you need to hover, waiting for your turn to speak to a teacher. While this can seem annoying, in these cases the time-keeping tends not to be as strict, but it is still better not to let the conversation drag on and if there is still a lot to discuss, a further dedicated appointment would be sensible.
Before you turn up to the meeting and particularly if you have not had to make appointments, ensure you have a list of your child’s teachers. If you can’t see where they are located, ask one of the staff available as you come in, there is usually a range of senior staff available to help. If your child has Special Educational Needs, make sure you speak to the head of that department even if they do not directly teach your child and don’t forget to see your child’s tutor as they have one of the best overviews of how they are doing in and out of the classroom.
Be wary of any staff your child says not to bother seeing or anyone from whom they tend to steer you away. Some youngsters can be most adept at keeping parents away from the one member of staff who is desperate to see them. When they have a large number of teachers it is quite easy to miss speaking to one or two.
When you are actually with a teacher, listen to what is being said, but then ask questions. While it is lovely to hear how wonderful your child is, how well they are doing, and how good they are in class, there are still questions to ask. Are they being stretched? Should they be doing extension work? What could they be doing outside the classroom?
Where things are not so positive and you hear about work not being done, or poor behaviour in lessons, try and get specific examples – particularly if your child is not with you. It. Is very difficult to address problems with your child if you can’t share exactly what has been going on. While hearing negative feedback can be extremely difficult, particularly if it is unexpected, it is important to listen and to ask the right questions. When is it happening, what have the consequences been, what is the school doing, what can you do to help? Try and form a plan of action and make sure you follow up on it. Arrange with the teacher for either a follow-up phone call or a way of getting in touch for an update. If there really has been a bombshell dropped, ask why you haven’t been made aware of this earlier. It may be that they were waiting for this appointment, but poor behaviour, attitude or work should not be passing by unnoticed and you are right to expect to be informed about this. Looking forward, arrange with the teacher that they (or the tutor or Head of Year) will contact you as soon as there is a further slip-up.
Our top tips for attending a parents’ meeting:
Review the child’s last written report & print out
Write a list of follow-up points you wish to cover and attach this to the written report.
Arrive with plenty of time and make sure you are aware of where each teacher is in the room.
Bring a notebook and pen to the meeting to make notes
Ensure that you are in the driving seat, asking what the teacher thinks about your child’s progress
Listen, Listen, Listen!
Once the teacher has finished, work through your list of questions, queries or worries.
If you have none, then perhaps you could ask about how they plan to ensure that your child is reaching their potential?
Note any agreed actions from your discussion, on part of the teacher, the child or you the parent
Follow-up your meeting
If your child has not attended the meeting with you, it is essential that you feedback to them honestly once you are home and while this is, of course, age-dependent, it is still important to make them aware.
Ask the child how they feel they are doing.
Do not sugar coat the meeting, be honest!
Tell your child the positives from the meeting.
Explain the areas for improvement to your child.
Draw up an action plan.
If you need any advice or support either before or after a parents’ meeting, please do not hesitate to contact Heywood de Ferrer Associates.
